HexRei
11-12-2006, 11:43 AM
http://www.break.com/LetsGoToPrison/letsgotoprison.html
The first word that comes to mind when I describe this game is "totally rad".
You take the role of Biederman, an innocent man doing hard time, as he fights his way to the top in an balls-out badass bighouse bonanza brawl! Bash! Letter B!
Anyway, the graphics are just incredible, I think they are really pushing the envelope in terms of video card utilization and yet it scales nicely to work on all systems, even an old Tamagotchi I found in my closet. If my Zelda game watch wasn't broken, it would probably work on that too.
The controls are cunningly simple yet utterly sufficient to immerse you in the alternate reality of this prison arena. Arrow keys move you left and right, while q and w are light and hard punches and a and s are light and hard kicks, respectively. Kewlgames (the highly talented developers) have driven gaming in a new direction by making the light kicks do less damage, but a faster delivery, while the hard ones actually do more damage, but are slower to deliver. They are leaving the choice of the tradeoff up to you! And you will indeed have to make your selections wisely in order to pass this test of all six of your senses! The real icing on this delicious gaming cake is Biederman's Special Move. He swings his arm mightily around and delivers not one but TWO light punches, all with only one press of a button from the player! If that's not innovation I must be smoking crack because otherwise why do I have this crackpipe in my hand?
Biederman battles in a wide variety of locations, such as in the Showers, in the Prison Yard, and in the Cafeteria. Each one offers a variety of colorful graffiti, rendered in 65 billion different hues, many of which were invented by Kewlgames just for this very opus. The locations are so incredibly brought to life that you won't mind playing them over and over again, in fact you'll beg for more like a dog begs for sweet sweet Kobe beef.
The music changes to perfectly suit the mood of each fight, and audio clips from the movie chime in at appropriate moments, making you chuckle with laughter.
A frightening roster of opponents is lined up to face Beiderman, starting with the Guard. Naturally, the prison guard is the easiest opponent to defeat, just as in a real prison. This game is educational as well as enjoyable, so be sure to show your kids! At one point you fight a giant dog that walks on its hind legs- Kewlgames really outdid themselves with innovationativity here. I think there are seven levels or so, I was so wrapped up in the gameplay I don't remember for sure though.
My score at the end was 257,000, but the REAL score was much higher- in my heart. Because the game was so fun.
The first word that comes to mind when I describe this game is "totally rad".
You take the role of Biederman, an innocent man doing hard time, as he fights his way to the top in an balls-out badass bighouse bonanza brawl! Bash! Letter B!
Anyway, the graphics are just incredible, I think they are really pushing the envelope in terms of video card utilization and yet it scales nicely to work on all systems, even an old Tamagotchi I found in my closet. If my Zelda game watch wasn't broken, it would probably work on that too.
The controls are cunningly simple yet utterly sufficient to immerse you in the alternate reality of this prison arena. Arrow keys move you left and right, while q and w are light and hard punches and a and s are light and hard kicks, respectively. Kewlgames (the highly talented developers) have driven gaming in a new direction by making the light kicks do less damage, but a faster delivery, while the hard ones actually do more damage, but are slower to deliver. They are leaving the choice of the tradeoff up to you! And you will indeed have to make your selections wisely in order to pass this test of all six of your senses! The real icing on this delicious gaming cake is Biederman's Special Move. He swings his arm mightily around and delivers not one but TWO light punches, all with only one press of a button from the player! If that's not innovation I must be smoking crack because otherwise why do I have this crackpipe in my hand?
Biederman battles in a wide variety of locations, such as in the Showers, in the Prison Yard, and in the Cafeteria. Each one offers a variety of colorful graffiti, rendered in 65 billion different hues, many of which were invented by Kewlgames just for this very opus. The locations are so incredibly brought to life that you won't mind playing them over and over again, in fact you'll beg for more like a dog begs for sweet sweet Kobe beef.
The music changes to perfectly suit the mood of each fight, and audio clips from the movie chime in at appropriate moments, making you chuckle with laughter.
A frightening roster of opponents is lined up to face Beiderman, starting with the Guard. Naturally, the prison guard is the easiest opponent to defeat, just as in a real prison. This game is educational as well as enjoyable, so be sure to show your kids! At one point you fight a giant dog that walks on its hind legs- Kewlgames really outdid themselves with innovationativity here. I think there are seven levels or so, I was so wrapped up in the gameplay I don't remember for sure though.
My score at the end was 257,000, but the REAL score was much higher- in my heart. Because the game was so fun.