How to protect your DJ from the DJ Whores

[~Black Lotus~]

If you're a good parent. You know your who your DJ's
freinds are. You know their names, ages,
social security numbers, and so on. You think that
your DJ isn't the type of person to run off with
that girl in the pink tube top and tight pleather
pants.

But what if you're wrong?

Since 1996, the incidence of young women dressing in
tight, revealing, impossible to dance in
clothing and attending parties in order to sleep with
a DJ has increased by 1100 percent. And
many DJs have been falling victims to these sirens of
the scene, who leech valuble money that
could be spent on records.

It's important to know what a DJ whore looks like.
It's hard to describe, as sometimes they can be
subtle - you can only get rid of the visible ones, and
for every DJ whore you see, there's at least 8
more you don't.

Your average DJ Whore:
-Looks 16 years old (or dresses that way)
-Is wearing inappropraite shoes to the party
-Dances like a stripper, but with less talent
-Bought there clothes from an overpriced teen store in
the mall

For the sake of your DJ, if someone approaches you and
immediately asks if you have a girlfreind,
do the following.

1. Drive a stake through their heart. If a wooden
stake and mallet aren't available, hit them over the
head with their own purse, a water bottle, or large
steel girder.

2. Throw garlic on the DJ Whore. If garlic is not
available, ammonia, boiling oil, kerosine, etc. is an
acceptable substitute. CAUTION: May not work against
some E-tards, who will enjoy this.

3. Once the DJ whore has melted back into it's foul,
primordial ichor, mix with sawdust and
dispose of in sink or toilet. You'll be glad you did.

*walks off laughing*

[Nimble*Syd]

The only DJ whores I've ever seen are the ones who practically feed on the blood of Little Terror. :D

[Soy*Spice]

I'll be Richard Humpty Vissions DJ whore! :p

[evilarchangel68]

BBBWWWWAAAAAAAAHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAA!!!! !!!

with my boyfrind an aspiring dj in a small town that is amazed at the site of turntables, i find myself constantly asking, "how do i get rid of these aspiring dj whores who don't seem to understand that they will never be good enough for him? hmmmmm..." and now, i have the answer! thank you, black lotus, for making my life simpler!

(since i haven't had the time to try these measures yet, i wonder if they work on dj ho's in training?)

[AmandieCandy]

No I am RHV's dj whore. Best back up.

[Yungrii Mobliatri]

DJ WHORES! BLEH. did anyone see the dj whores at smoke this in the jungle room.....BLEH.

[!Sp@ce_Kitten!]

*goes to store and buys Black Lotus some DJ Whore Slutty Skank Repellant*

Happy Birthday!!!!

;)

[AliciaisAlwaysPimpin]

wait a minute, i thought a lot of djs do it for the chicks....maybe im mistaken.

[~Black Lotus~]

Not this DJ!

I do it all for high i get from my music!

*runs from all the DJ hoe's on his ass*

[Kosmicdog]

When I meet girlz at parties they always say "So do you spin records?", and I'm all "yeah, I'm Dj Um, uh, K-DOG!!, yeah have you ever heard me? I play at all the parties." And then the girl says "Oh yeah like, I've heard you a bunch of times!! You spin >insert genre here< right?!" And I say, "Yeah baby, have you ever seen the inside of a Dodge Colt?"

Then I hump them. I figure I am doing all you real DJ's and your girlfriends a favor.

So you owe me one. :D

[Pandora77]

Why bother going through all that trouble, when yu can send them all to me?!!! ;) hehe

~*~Pandora~*~

[Ken Ja]

Whores BAD...Shotgun...GOOD! :D

[MO]

-Is wearing inappropraite shoes to the party
-Dances like a stripper, but with less talent


-laughing too hard for words-

[Soy*Spice]

Originally posted by AmandieCandy:
<STRONG>No I am RHV's dj whore. Best back up.</STRONG>
Sorry sweetie! Yer not RHV's whore, yer just a whore... ;)

[Lady Legs]

-Is wearing inappropraite shoes to the party
-Dances like a stripper, but with less talent

I take offense to that. Except for the "less talent" part.

*purrs*

[AmandieCandy]

Originally posted by raven_kd:
<STRONG>[QUOTE]
Sorry sweetie! Yer not RHV's whore, yer just a whore... ;)</STRONG>

Thats cute... *tears well up in eyes* But I touched his hand... doesnt that mean I'm his full throttle whore? :p

[E ternalsAngel]

Matt you dont have to worry about running from all the dj hoes you just have to WALK fast you know them in there !!pleather!! they seem to not be able to run fast to catch ya but just in case if one day your laggin &lt;reaches in bag and hands you some "DJ Whore Slutty Skank Repellant" :) jenn already got ya some but i just want you to be safe. so two is better... BE SAFE!

Angelina

[trikc]

wow matt--
and i had you pegged as a bleeding heart. good to know there's a little habanero in that salsa.
xoxo

[~*jackie*~]

Originally posted by ~Black Lotus~:
<STRONG>Your average DJ Whore:
-Looks 16 years old (or dresses that way)
-Is wearing inappropraite shoes to the party
-Dances like a stripper, but with less talent
-Bought there clothes from an overpriced teen store in
the mall
</STRONG>

So true, so true!!! OMG... I just want to push them over. Wearing inappropriate footwear and doing that undulating dance of seduction that just looks like CRAP!!! I started throwing fries at DJ Hoes at Crescent. Hehehe, it was fun. Then I graduated to waterbottles. *Grits teeth*


*crax knuckles*


Oh, I'll take care of those DJ hoes for you Matt. Lemme at em! *pulls afrocentric bitch braids back and prepares for the melee*

[SomeCh1ck]

Originally posted by Yungrii Mobliatri:
<STRONG>DJ WHORES! BLEH. did anyone see the dj whores at smoke this in the jungle room.....BLEH.</STRONG>

Those hoes were outta hand. I was trying to dance during Nitsuj's set. There was 4 girls all over Jimmy Hoffa's jock. I trying not to pay attention and juss dance as hard as i could...The girl steps so hard on my toe i almost shed a tear. (shes got on these big ol' hooker boots)
She turns around and says get out of my way!

:rolleyes: :mad:

[Posh]

Those hoes were outta hand. I was trying to dance during Nitsuj's set.

That was me.

There was 4 girls all over Jimmy Hoffa's jock.

Ewwww.

I'll be at FX tonight trying to hump the nearest DJ, preferably a jungle DJ. I hear those guys tear shit up. Look for me. I'll be in the pink tube top and pleather pants. I wont be wearing my hooker boots though :( they are dirty. :rolleyes:

On a more serious note, I will be at FX tonight. Ready to stomp on any DJ hoe that gets in my way.

Posh ;)

[Soy*Spice]

Originally posted by AmandieCandy:
<STRONG>Thats cute... *tears well up in eyes* But I touched his hand... doesnt that mean I'm his full throttle whore? :p</STRONG>

No, probably not. It just means your desperate! Im his # 1 fan damnit!

[SomeCh1ck]

Originally posted by Posh:
<STRONG>Ewwww.

I'll be at FX tonight trying to hump the nearest DJ, preferably a jungle DJ. I hear those guys tear shit up. Look for me. I'll be in the pink tube top and pleather pants. I wont be wearing my hooker boots though :( they are dirty. :rolleyes:

On a more serious note, I will be at FX tonight. Ready to stomp on any DJ hoe that gets in my way.

Posh ;)</STRONG>

Ive actually met you before...I dont think these hoes were you...what were you wearing?

[RaveBabe]

I know Matt, what are all these girls thinking? Don't they know I'm your one and only dj hoe? ;) Only problem is I don't wear pleather pants, or shoes I can't dance in, I'm FAR from 16, don't dance like a stripper...hmmmmm :rolleyes: Hee hee I'll still help you fight them off though! *grabs the DJ Whore Slutty Skank Repellent and stands by Matt* Bring em on....

Love, Rebecca :D

[SomeCh1ck]

Posh-
Hey...I didn't make it last night...but I am def. going to Fused! We can meet up there and kick some dj hoes around??? Sound good??
SMH_151@hotmail.com
Peace
Sami

[Posh]

Hey...I didnt make it last night either. My plans got all screwed up so I just went home and went to bed. And I had my stomping boots on and everything! :D So your going to fused? I have the flier in my car, but I havent really looked at it. But I'll defianlly let you know if I decide to go...so we can stomp some hoes. &lt;that rhymed&gt;

Posh ;)

[~Black Lotus~]

I love you Rebecca!!!!

And Crystal......how did the HOE bashing go?

And Trixie..... hehe..... my salsa is HOT!

any ladies agree? ;)

[Posh]

Originally posted by ~Black Lotus~:
<STRONG>And Crystal......how did the HOE bashing go?</STRONG>

Its been postponed until this weekend. I needed some time to clean my boots. :D How are you doing trying to keep the hoes off you? Or do you like to keep the hoes drooling? You stud you.

Rebecca, how are you doing???? Only 3 more months right?? :)

Posh ;)

[RaveBabe]

I LOVE YOU TOO MATT!!!! :D

Posh! I'm doing really good-but I MISS SEATTLE! 3 months, 8 days, and counting....

Love, Rebecca :D

[OpheliaDream]

Hmmm....o dear...

But I like the dj hoes!! They're fun to laff at!!

On a more serious note, any one who gets in mah way, i'll be opening a can 'o' whoop azz and goin bitch azz on dat skanky hoe. :D :D :D

[~Black Lotus~]

Originally posted by Posh:
<STRONG> :D How are you doing trying to keep the hoes off you? Or do you like to keep the hoes drooling? You stud you.

</STRONG>

I like to keep them wanting...... :D

*wonders if everyone is still up for that calandar idea of mine*

[SomeCh1ck]

Originally posted by OpheliaDream:
<STRONG>Hmmm....o dear...

But I like the dj hoes!! They're fun to laff at!!

On a more serious note, any one who gets in mah way, i'll be opening a can 'o' whoop azz and goin bitch azz on dat skanky hoe. :D :D :D</STRONG>
WERD!!!!!!

[Suthsayer]

But dj hoes that do their jobs right are a valuable asset to the community. Or at least to their current dj. I mean, if they do their job right they go into other rooms and try to get people to come hear or support their dj that's playing. I know a couple of carreer dj hoes. ;p And what would the dj do if he didn't have a quickie before his set started to help him relax? ^_^

[Posh]

Humm....I wonder if Nitsuj needs someone to have a quickie with before he spins. Where can I get a application?? :D

Posh ;)

[SomeCh1ck]

Nitsuj is spinnin at FuSED. Well all the hoes better clear a path cause we are gonna cause some major damage

[DJ Nikon]

I think me just posting on here says it all.

ROFL!

:D

[Enkidu Kind]

Are there any DJ whores that want to get pregnant by their DJ of choice? That way they can force that DJ into a relationship or marrage. Either that, or they can pretend they are carring the techno messiah in their womb. :p

:) Chris :)

[7uNCHB0X]

Well u kould be like TEK and i and spin hardcore , well we dont worry about dj hos they run away screaming!! &lt; it happened ta tek at fx girl was like ur a dj!!?!? he was like yeah...than she asked what he spun...he answered HARDCORE...she litterally ran away screaming!! &gt; so another way fo getting rid of them is say u spin hardcore...or GABBER!! :D ...happyhardcore...i think they still go for that...well anyhow thats another way of getting rid of them... YEAH!! but rember kids if its not HARDCORE than why bother listeing kause its SHITE!! and in the werds of my mate dijitek ...FUUUUUUUUUUCK!! :D :mad: :D

[~Black Lotus~]

bizzump!

[evilarchangel68]

Originally posted by Posh:
[QB] I was at Smoke this

I was wearing purple leopard print pants, a purple shirt and black boots.



i saw you and was going to talk to you about those pants (i almost bought em) but decided against it. oh wellz! :)

[Posh]

Originally posted by angelstar_68:
<STRONG>i saw you and was going to talk to you about those pants (i almost bought them)</STRONG>

Yeah there was another girl there too wearing them, she has a purple wig on. She chased me around all night rubbing on the pants and calling me her twin. She was scary.

Posh ;)

btw- you should have said HI.

[evilarchangel68]

Originally posted by Posh:
<STRONG>Humm....I wonder if Nitsuj needs someone to have a quickie with before he spins. Where can I get a application?? </STRONG>

hmmm. i used to think nitsuj was sexy, then at booty call i was watchin him, and he made this face and it looked exactly like my brother....eeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwww, i felt so fuckin gross after that....

[evilarchangel68]

naw, the girl i saw wasnt in a purple wig, so it musta been you huh? but i still dont really know what you look like, and i wish id said wassup... :(

[Suthsayer]

And a damn ass sexy picture it is......regardless of how huge it is (which i personally dont think it is) .......!!!!!!

:D

[miss two-oh-six]

Originally posted by Yungrii Mobliatri:
<STRONG>DJ WHORES! BLEH. did anyone see the dj whores at smoke this in the jungle room.....BLEH.</STRONG>
I know one of them...she really is a whore...well, a stripper, but hey, lets not play with semantics.

[~Black Lotus~]

That Suthsayer Post is actually by me!!!!!!!

I forgot to log him out of my computer since he was the last one who had posted using it!

HEHE.......just for clarification!!!!!!!!

[snoangl]

men and their ho problems...

[~Black Lotus~]

Originally posted by *Pretty*Lil*SnoAngel*:
<STRONG>men and their ho problems...</STRONG>

ohhh its no problem......its FUN!

Aint that right DJ's

*has a few other comments he'd like to make....but wont stoop to the level of some others*

[ 05-21-2001: Message edited by: ~Black Lotus~ ]

[LilMissDJ]

They are scandalous bitches, it's fun to dress like them as a joke once in a while though...I did it at Fused, but then again, I was trying to get up on a certain DJ... :p

[MaRbLe]

*refering 2 topic*
lol :D
Ha, ha, thats some funny shit!!! :D

[DJ Nikon]

eep....my bad for posting twice

[ 05-22-2001: Message edited by: DJ Nikon ]

[DJ Nikon]

Originally posted by DJ Nikon:
<STRONG>I think me just posting on here says it all.

ROFL!

:D</STRONG>


like my older post..............HAHAHAHAHA!!!