Hey ladies: I am guilty

[HexRei]

I am guilty as well: of being a .-*Love Machine*-.

But back in reality, no, I think that kissing and touching is a lot more fun than actual sex- maybe just cause unless conditions are right, I have a pretty intense come-down period after sex. I have to either sleep or cuddle. Pretty much anything else makes me feel wierd. I really didn't need to say all that.

[groovinkim]

i definitely think it is possible to have
casual sex and have it be a healthy and
happy thing for both people... but not
without communication.

you can't just have sex with someone and
expect them to psychically know what your
intentions were, what kind of a relationship
you want with them, etc. and then get
annoyed at them for drawing the wrong
conclusion from your behavior..

especially since many people *don't* have
casual sex.. not only because of "moral"
reasons but because of concern for the
physical consequences.

i think that you should do your partner
a favor of telling them how you feel
about any sexual activity you engage in
with them - don't expect them to tell you first or bring the subject up if you don't!

sadly, many people are afraid to talk
honestly about sex and what their
expectations and feelings are about it -
possibly because our society has such
a negative attitude about it.

i agree with you that people shouldn't
draw conclusions about how you feel
about them based on sex... but sometimes
it's hard not to. they are opening themselves
up to you, being naked... literally in
the physical sense, and sometimes emotionally as well.. that is something which should
be respected and taken seriously, even if
it doesn't mean they are the love of your
life, or even that you'll talk to them
again. they are risking a lot for you!

i've been in the same situation before (wanting to have a physical relationship with someone and not be committed to them, and having them assume it meant more) - but i realized that unless you talk openly and bluntly with them about your feelings, you are
as much at fault as they are for
misunderstanding where you are coming from.

i don't think you need to learn self
control.. i think you just need to TALK!
there are actually quite a few people (both
men and women) who like casual or open relationships and won't automatically run away or freak out if you bring it up.

kim

[HexRei]

This woman

is a genius.

[groovinkim]

one more comment: i don't think this
is an issue which needs to be addressed
to just women.. there
are many men who take sex as an indication
of emotional attachment, despite society's
stereotype that they don't.

[dogod]

You are right. I think we are both at fault here, but it hurts so much.
This should be to everyone, I was just saying to the ladies because I am a guy.
It comes down to communication, which this world lacks sooo much. I am a coward.
Its funny, some things about me I feel are so evolved spiritually and philosophically, but I can always find a reason to see myself as one of the major problems as well. More paradox.
Thank you for communicating