Too Much

[Tecknowledgy]

Recently life has been very taxing, too much is going on. It becomes clearer to me every day that something must be done with my life and my time.

Today, my father, who is a diabetic, comes home for his lunch break at about 1:07 p.m. He says he's really tired and sits down in down in his recliner and falls asleep. 2:00 rolls around and it's time for him to go back to work. I notice he still hasn't eaten. I make him a sandwich and try to tell him the reason he's so sleepy is because his blood sugar is low and he hasn't eaten. I take his hand to help him sit up and I notice he is very sweaty and very hot, his eyes are glassy and he won't respond. I go to his bedroom to get his bloodsugar test kit, knowing his bloodsugar is low. I take his hand and am getting ready to prick his finger. When I do, he screams and starts convulsing. I hear his bones popping and I don't know if they're breaking or not. He's screaming, and convulsing and now he's foaming at the mouth. I call the ambulance. They come. Now he's having a full-on gran mal seizure. It takes seven men to hold him down long enough to get an IV in him to pump him full of sugar. They test him, his bloodsugar level is at 8, most people die at 20. The IV is ripped out twice and there is blood everywhere. Finally, it takes and he comes to.

He is in sleeping right now, and I'm wondering, "Will he be alive when I check on him?"

This is my life, my world. Welcome to it.

[invis]

there are alot of us that have our own hells....hang in there kid you're definately not alone;)

[Tecknowledgy]

Thank you.

[Shadey]

luv u deary hang in there~

[HexRei]

One thing I've learned after 22 years here is that life is really, really, really hard. I hear it never changes.

[Kaaaty]

Not to sound cold, but everyone has their own personal traumas that they need to work through.

If you are really looking for support and compassion, I dont think a tekno board is the best place to go...

Id suggest a teen couselling center of some sort or talking to people...

[burnt]

you sound cold Katy. got somewhere else to be?

2cb, I'm sending you a virtual hug and flower and know that you and your father are in my prayers. =)

[Kaaaty]

Burnt, Im not trying to sound cold. However, when I see a subject line "too much" and a post such as this, it makes me think. Its obvious the author of this post is trying to reach out, for sympathy, compassion, maybe someone to talk to. I dont think that posting on nwtekno.org is the best place to seek this. This site is just an internet message board. Again, I suggest that if youre going through alot of stress and personal turmoil that you look into finding counseling. I know too often that dealing with trauma of a family member or someone close can compound regular stress or any other problems one may be facing. If you dont deal with it right, it can backfire. So no, Im not being cold by suggesting this, Im just telling it like it is...

[Tecknowledgy]

A) I'm not coming here for sympathy. I had to write it out and tell someone. I thank those that do feel sympathy and compassion.

B)I speak for a lot of people when I say you are a cunt and your opinion is really not valued. But thank you for it anyway.

Everyone else, thank you for your input.

Love very much,

Eli.

[SunshineGirlie]

eli, i'm sorry babe... you know i'm here for you if you... never hesitate to call on me...

katyloop.... why even bother saying "not to sound cold, but..."...... i dont think not sounding cold is a possible thing for you to do...

anyways...
i love you eli..
love des.

[rayman]

It`s a good thing you were there for him!

[Vixie]

Hey, sorry about your dad. A similar situation happened to my grandpa and it was very scary. I know how it is. Hang in there, hunz.
Vixie

[boredstiff]

my thoughts are with you man. just remember that you can only do so much within your power, it sounds as though you are pushing a little too hard on the things you can't control. I do this to myself also is the only reason I recognize it, do your best but remember you don't hold fate in your hands. But hey what the fuck do I know about you? Good luck brother.

[Kaaaty]

I am just offering up a wise opinion ...and I am guessing you did not read my previous post at all.

I dont think I sound cold at all...but its obvious that you are under alot of stress. I corrected myself in my previous post by stating that you might want to consider some professional resources for all that youre going through. To rely on a message board cant be fufilling all of your needs.

Its very simple to type out "hugs" or "I feel you" but when someone actually suggests that you take a step to find an outlet for all of your suffering and trauma, then that person is a "cunt?" Whatever...you can seek solace from whatveer sources you choose, but if youre really under this much stress (and in my opinion reaching out) then I wouldnt go posting my life story on a public message board...

[Trixie]

regardless of the fact that katy is a dear confidante of mine, i will take this opportunity to correct some people on a few falsities....

2cb said, " It becomes clearer to me every day that something must be done with my life and my time. "

this, to me, sounds like you are looking for something.... if it is just the common "*hugs*" response or a "oh sweety feel better" response than fine, but when i first read that line i assumed you were having an "end of the rope" moment and were looking for a little more than that.


katy said, "If you are really looking for support and compassion, I dont think a tekno board is the best place to go... Id suggest a teen couselling center of some sort or talking to people..."

a very valid suggestion, if you are looking for help, as your post indicated, than someone telling you that you won't get it here is a reality check you may need to hear. also, giving you the pointer of seeking out a counseling center is a kind, and *right* thing to say, it offers a lot more than "*hugs*".


2cb says, "A) I'm not coming here for sympathy. I had to write it out and tell someone. I thank those that do feel sympathy and compassion.

B)I speak for a lot of people when I say you are a cunt and your opinion is really not valued. But thank you for it anyway. "

you are not coming here for sympathy, but that's what anyone who relates a personal trauma recieves on this board, cause we are, underneat the flames, nice people. so obviously you can't come here and write something like that and not be somehow seeking something! it's simply impossible, if you were writing for the sake of writing you could have kept it yourself and recieved the same benefit.

also, let me speak for a lot of people when i say to back the fuck off of katy and never call her a cunt again. her opinion is valued by a lot of people just not you.


"sunshinegirlie" says, "katyloop.... why even bother saying "not to sound cold, but..."...... i dont think not sounding cold is a possible thing for you to do..."

right, 'cause you know her real well and everything? she was saying "not to sound cold" because most people who respond with the shallow "i'll send you a virtual hug" will have their oprah-infused minds saying, "omg! that girl is harsh!" when in fact she is speaking from a lot of experience with overcoming struggles and is just trying to offer what she herself might want to hear in this situation, and also what she thinks the person needs to hear.




and for the record, i would really think twice before resorting to name-calling, it makes you look bad.



love,
trixie

[Tecknowledgy]

Thank you all very much. I appreciate what you have to say.

Love, Eli.

[LJ Indiglow]

I just read your post and made me realize, how I should care about my dad more... My dad is also a diabetic, and he's getting to the point where doctor is recommanding a insulin shots... Your post gave me a deep thought, and I just wanted to let you know that you're not alone! Hang in there!

Nori

[LunaLizz]

it's scary when the people who mean the most to you are ill..
my gramma , who is like my 2nd mother, is right now in the process of dying. lung cancer is not pretty. i have never had anyone close to me terminally ill, and never been throught he final stages of someones life. it freaks me out daily, and i wonder if i can really handle it when i recieve that fon call saying its all over.
my mom is trying to help her die in peace, but my mother is also trying to raise a 3 year old, and just found out she has blood poisoning aND a collapsed lung(the other lung has pnemonia) it has been very overwhekming for us all. i have been binging..*makes sad face*
my gramma is only 61. she looks younger, and we always expected her to live longer. its wierd, talking to her now, she is so out of it from the morphine, and the doctors are pretty sure the cancer is in her brain.
i understand the scariness. the overwhelming frustration and anxiety.
life sometimes gives us much more than we think we can handle, but just go day by day.....people out there love and support you<3
;)

[adreezy]

I'm really sorry honey.

*hugs*

[LunaLizz]

sometimes those *hugs* can do alot....try and get them in real life too

*many hugz*

[blueferret]

Damn that sucks Eli I am sorry if you ever need to talk you know how to get ahold of me. I am borderline hypoglycimic and have atacks if I dont eat enough. I'm not bad enough that I would die from an atack but I do go into hypoglycimic shock and get tunnel vishion and then pass out. I'm sorry your dad is full bore but I understand what its like if you need someone to talk to. *hugs*

[nicholas]

Just remember, there are a lot of people that go through this kind of thing. My dad is epileptic and has pretty severe siezures. He had one while driving last year and came within inches from a head on accident at 55mph. Luckly?, he hit the side of the oncoming truck and was out of the hospital fairly quick. I say this to help you understand that you aren't the only one dealing with this type of situation. As said by someone else above, some situations are completely out of your control. Just do your best to keep your head clear. It helps to be able to have someone to talk to (in real life)who can relate or has experience in dealing with this sort of issue. If you haven't already, find someone like that to talk to about your situation, even a counselor or therapist (if you have the option), wouldn't be a bad idea., just so long as you can get the stress out on the table. Anyways, there are a lot of people that hope you get through this alright. Keep up man, nick

[ZupanGOD]

Whoa.. 2cb hang in their man.

[williowstar]

Aww Eli...I am sooo sorry:( I know it sounds corny and its said all the time...but things happen for a reason...I am sure things will shine your way soon! You just gotta take life one day at a time and play your cards as they come! I love you sweetie and if you ever need anything, just let me know ok!

Sami