RIP: Rick, from Empire Glass. [Archive]

Nimble*Syd

08-12-2002, 06:27 PM

Today, they found Rick, infamous owner of Empire Glass, dead in a hotel room.

I guess there won't be anymore free dinners to Shari's with the purchase of a new windshield.

Pay your respects, folks.

Layla

08-12-2002, 06:34 PM

no shit! what's next... the droning Shane Co. guy?

Tecknowledgy

08-12-2002, 06:35 PM

Murder-suicide.

He spent all day smoking crack, pissed off because he lost so much money from giving away 24 free dinners with every new windshield some shitheel decides to buy. He comes home, his wife is gone...no note, but all her shit's gone too. He runs to the garage, she took the van...the bitch.

He then went down to the pawn shop...got himself a gun and rented a hotel room in the redlight district. He had everything he needed. Crack, the gun, and enough rage to choke an ostrich. One thing lacked, the final casual sexual encounter. He walked out the front door of the Joyce, maybe it was the Kent hotel and nabbed himself a hooker, then payed the extra $5 to get a guest into the hotel.

There they smoked crack late into the night...suddenly, things took a turn for the worst. He flipped out, grabbed the gun, shot the hooker, then took one more hit of crack before he took his own life.

Sad man...sad.

R.I.P. Rick, you will be missed

Nimble*Syd

08-12-2002, 06:38 PM

Velo said:
no shit! what's next... the droning Shane Co. guy?

No, we're not that lucky.

r*marie.pdx

08-12-2002, 06:59 PM

HA! this confirms my suspicions that rick was affiliated w/ the mafia, and empire glass was nothing but a cover for his shady dealings.
i mean c'mon, the guy wears pinky rings and purple 2-piece suits!

Vixie

08-12-2002, 07:10 PM

I hate to say that I am thankful...but I kinda am. I hated his commercials. Sad sad story

Vixie

08-12-2002, 07:27 PM

I wanted to note that I found this story while looking for truth in Rick Chance's death and found it mildly amusing.

http://www.azcentral.com/news/articles/0812DeadAlive12-ON.html

balloon kitten

08-12-2002, 07:55 PM

How do we know this is true? Poor Rick. :(

*edit: I found this on google.
http://www.ktvb.com/news/localnews/ktvbn-august10-rickfromempireglass.7a05b7dc.html

Nimble*Syd

08-12-2002, 08:00 PM

I saw it on the news. And we all know that the media never lies.

balloon kitten

08-12-2002, 08:23 PM

He's on MTV right now!

balloon kitten

08-12-2002, 08:24 PM

Nevermind, it's over.

Nimble*Syd

08-12-2002, 08:31 PM

Rick was on MTV?

And here I was, thinking all along that he was just a local hero.

balloon kitten

08-12-2002, 08:54 PM

He's on MTV again!

balloon kitten

08-12-2002, 08:55 PM

....and it's over again. Damn short commercials. It's like he's speaking from beyond the grave. I wonder if they'll pull the commercials like they did when Wendy's dad died.

burnt

08-12-2002, 08:58 PM

well, they can pull the commercials, but they better not welsh out on my free dinner goddammit!

rip rick.

~*IrishFaerie*~

08-12-2002, 09:28 PM

Is it wrong for me to be amused by this thread? Am I going to Hell now? :confused: :( :confused:

SomeCh1ck

08-12-2002, 11:03 PM

Originally posted by ~*IrishFaerie*~
Is it wrong for me to be amused by this thread? Am I going to Hell now? :confused: :( :confused:

i was thinking the same thing!

Vixie

08-12-2002, 11:30 PM

Originally posted by burnt
well, they can pull the commercials, but they better not welsh out on my free dinner goddammit!

rip rick.
Actually I heard that they're placing a new commercial on the air this thursday. Probably hoping that they'll get some sympathetic customers coming in, the bloodsuckers!

balloon kitten

08-12-2002, 11:44 PM

Who'd you hear that from? I wonder if we drive by the hotel and hitchhike, a big 18 wheeler will pick us up and it'll be Rick.. like that scene in PeeWee's Big Adventure. :eek:

Vixie

08-13-2002, 12:01 AM

KOIN 6 news...and as beautiful Syd so Nimbly said...the media never lies...

Is Nimbly a word?

*edited just for Eli :D

TurntableTruth

08-13-2002, 12:03 AM

wtf what if its all just a way to sell more...
"THATS RIGHT IM BACK FROM THE GRAVE TO GIVE YOU LOW PRICES SO LOW ITS UNDER 6 FEET!!" 666 DINERS AT THE SULFERY PITS OF HELL AND A FREE JEWLED PENTAGRAM VALUED AT 100$ FREE WITH YOUR PURCHASE.
ok im going to hell

Triplan

08-13-2002, 12:37 AM

Oh my God! I hated Rick's commercials :: pours a 40 on the ground :: but I think he deserved just one last drink.

:rolleyes:

Hearing that he is dead is pretty funny.. But I feel kinda fucked up laughing..

TurntableTruth

08-13-2002, 03:17 AM

yea when you feel kinda funny when laugh about this it means your going to hell too

Lenore

08-13-2002, 06:45 AM

tragic.

tekkno30

08-13-2002, 06:50 AM

Originally posted by Velo
no shit! what's next... the droning Shane Co. guy?

hahahah that guys voice is about as annoying as ben steins lol

tekkno30

08-13-2002, 06:52 AM

man that sux rip rick..........hey i just found out that my 24 free dinners are no longer valid whats up with that shit......

Jizosh

08-13-2002, 07:29 AM

could be worse...

could be flynn from carpet cents (sp?)...

biscuits

08-13-2002, 09:01 AM

NO NOT FLYNN!!!

that fucker has to stay alive long enough for me to get some cheap 1$ carpet for my room.

EviLreD

08-13-2002, 09:24 AM

just because he's dead....

doesn't make his commercials any better.

at least now I have an idea why he was bale to give away so much stuff with each windshield - it's been a running joke in my family for awhile.:rolleyes:

My sister is going to be soooo happy.:D

is SHE going to hell:confused: ?

Vixie

08-13-2002, 09:28 AM

Originally posted by EviLreD
is SHE going to hell:confused: ?
Oh c'mon, you know everyone's going to hell! He just beat us there. *shrug*

KatSauce

08-13-2002, 10:28 AM

Damn some of my homies work in that call center. Hmmmm I'll have to gett the scoop. damn yo

~*IrishFaerie*~

08-13-2002, 10:39 AM

You know who really should die but probably never will just to annoy the hell out of me? The Vern Fonk Insurance guy. He's not only annoying as fuck but he looks like a child molester. *cringe* I pray for him to be in a freak accident and get hit by a bus or something.

EuroTrash

08-13-2002, 11:00 AM

"Chance's housekeeper saw him leave his Paradise Valley home with a briefcase filled with more than $1 million in jewelry. "

Good GOD! What the hell was he into? I second the 'He's a Mafia Crime Boss' idea!

tallcan

08-13-2002, 11:55 AM

could be.
wouldn't be too surprising.

Nukegrrrl

08-13-2002, 12:29 PM

Maybe it was the constant diet of Shari's food that killed him.

tekkno30

08-13-2002, 02:23 PM

Originally posted by Jizosh
could be worse...

could be flynn from carpet cents (sp?)...
yea that fucker still needs to lose weight and he still fuckin knows it but does nothing about it....hahahahhahaha

tekkno30

08-13-2002, 02:25 PM

Originally posted by Nukegrrrl
Maybe it was the constant diet of Shari's food that killed him.

props going out too nukegrrl.......hahahah lol sharis does have shitty food........

08-13-2002, 02:30 PM

I think my favorite thing about those commercials was seeing just how hard he was trying not to sound like he was reading every damn word...

EV

Vixie

08-13-2002, 03:29 PM

I think the only person as annoying as him is Bob Lamphere...that guy is just...ugh

Tecknowledgy

08-13-2002, 06:47 PM

Originally posted by Vixie
as beautiful Syd so Nimbly put it...

I do believe nimbly is a word...uncapitalized...unless it's the first word of a new line in a poem following iambic pentameter...

"Nimbly the rain drops danced upon the pond's surface..."

And on that note...that was fuckin' poetry man...seriously. That made my day today, honest to God. "As beautiful Syd so Nimbly put it..."

The only thing I can ask for is that you rephrase that and get some AWESOME alliteration in there...

"as beautiful Syd so Nimbly said".

Vixie

08-13-2002, 06:57 PM

Awwwww....thanks Eli. I changed my original post for you. Anyhoo...the reason I capitalized Nimbly is becuase it's part of NymbleSyd's name and figured I should. Thank you though :)

balloon kitten

08-13-2002, 09:14 PM

Originally posted by EviLreD
at least now I have an idea why he was bale to give away so much stuff with each windshield - it's been a running joke in my family for awhile.:rolleyes:
No one here gave the reason he was able to- I don't think anyone here knows. ;)

Nimble*Syd

08-13-2002, 09:17 PM

EviLreD said:
at least now I have an idea why he was bale to give away so much stuff with each windshield - it's been a running joke in my family for awhile.

It's because he's a MOBSTER.

They can do anything.

balloon kitten

08-13-2002, 09:52 PM

Originally posted by Nimble*Syd

It's because he's a MOBSTER.

They can do anything.
Wrong! The mob is in it for money, not to throw it away on dinners n shit. Nice try, though. You get a chalupa for effort. ;)

EviLKat

08-13-2002, 10:07 PM

Originally posted by ~*IrishFaerie*~
You know who really should die but probably never will just to annoy the hell out of me? The Vern Fonk Insurance guy. He's not only annoying as fuck but he looks like a child molester. *cringe* I pray for him to be in a freak accident and get hit by a bus or something.

I know! I hate that guy! He's so shady! *Shudders* I fully agree with you on the child-molester vibe. :(

Yungrii Mobliatri

08-13-2002, 10:07 PM

i hope he doesnt become a zombie. zombies are pretty horrible creatures. we could all be in for some serious trouble here.

EviLreD

08-13-2002, 10:19 PM

Originally posted by emerald kitten

No one here gave the reason he was able to- I don't think anyone here knows. ;)

I just assumed that : dealing jewels and being a mobster probably paid the bills on their own - the whole windshield thing was just a front, so he could afford to just "break even" on each transaction, and still be doing well.

Originally I assumed he just banked on people coming in who's insurance was going to pay for the thing, and then overbilled the insurance companies - but this makes more sense.

balloon kitten

08-13-2002, 10:24 PM

Originally posted by EviLreD
Originally I assumed he just banked on people coming in who's insurance was going to pay for the thing, and then overbilled the insurance companies - but this makes more sense.
You were right first, a friend of mine used to do the billing for a windshield place. They make $$$$$$$$$ off insurance companies.

~*IrishFaerie*~

08-13-2002, 11:15 PM

Originally posted by EviLKat

I know! I hate that guy! He's so shady! *Shudders* I fully agree with you on the child-molester vibe. :(

Ok so it's settled! You and I are going to work together to create some freak bus "accident" that will just happen to kill this guy. My mom said she got her insurance from Vern Fonk (god only knows why she wanted Vern Fonk!) and that guy actually sold it to her. The insurance place is right by my house....We could do it and nobody would know it was us. Just think, we'll be getting rid of nightmares for millions on little kids who fear this guy will crawl in their window and molest them at night.

evilarchangel68

08-14-2002, 12:02 AM

Originally posted by emerald kitten

Wrong! The mob is in it for money, not to throw it away on dinners n shit.

dont you see? hes laundering dirty money through the guise of a windshield business!

Nice try, though. You get a chalupa for effort. ;)

*gives oyu puppy dog eyes*

i did good too you know!

*wags tail*

balloon kitten

08-14-2002, 08:40 AM

Originally posted by evilarchangel68
i did good too you know!

*wags tail*
*sees tail wagging*
*throws you a Double Decker Taco, just over your head*
*sees you bend over with tail wagging*
*smacks booty* *pets tail*
:eek:

Headphones Dude

08-14-2002, 11:36 AM

Hey I LIKE the Vern Fonk insurance guy...if you see his commercials and you don't want to watch, CHANGE THE CHANNEL!! And unless he IS a child molester, you leave my favorite commercial guy Vern Fonk ALONE!! Got that??

~*IrishFaerie*~

08-14-2002, 11:40 AM

Originally posted by Headphones Dude
Hey I LIKE the Vern Fonk insurance guy...if you see his commercials and you don't want to watch, CHANGE THE CHANNEL!! And unless he IS a child molester, you leave my favorite commercial guy Vern Fonk ALONE!! Got that??

How can you like that guy?!?! I've seen him dress up as a butt-rocker, a beatnik, and that lady from Sleep Country. ALL of which freaked me out! If you like him so much why don't you tape all his commercials and watch them over and over so I can kill him and never have to watch them again?

EviLKat

08-14-2002, 11:53 AM

Originally posted by ~*IrishFaerie*~

How can you like that guy?!?! I've seen him dress up as a butt-rocker, a beatnik, and that lady from Sleep Country. ALL of which freaked me out! If you like him so much why don't you tape all his commercials and watch them over and over so I can kill him and never have to watch them again?

*Shudders* He makes me want to cry. I can't change the channel fast enough! Get rid of him! Please!!!

~*IrishFaerie*~

08-14-2002, 12:21 PM

Don't worry, EvilKat! I will save you! Just give me a few days to work out the perfect murder......;)

Headphones Dude

08-14-2002, 12:38 PM

Well, 1, he makes me laugh....Sorry....
2, he makes me laugh
3, we don't have cable
4, my vcr is in hawk.....(I sorta don't care even, too busy to watch tapes anymore)
5, he makes me laugh

Now please just stop watching his commercials until we hear about him molesting kids....Until then, he'll always be putting a smile on my face, and he can do no wrong....

EviLKat

08-14-2002, 12:45 PM

Play that Verne Fonky music right boy... *Pukes*

Savvvvvveeeeeeeee meeeeeeeee ~*IrishFaerie*~ !!!

Enkidu Kind

08-14-2002, 05:38 PM

I welcome anyone to try to logically convince me that Rick from Empire Glass was not a mobster. Everything that guy was reeked of the mafia. And his death? So random....dead in a hotel room? I have thought from the first time I saw his commercial that this guy was a Don of some sort or another. Shit, he probably stole a shitload of cheap-ass gold necklaces to do that pendant promotion. :D

Bring your theories.

balloon kitten

08-14-2002, 05:48 PM

Originally posted by Enkidu Kind
Shit, he probably stole a shitload of cheap-ass gold necklaces to do that pendant promotion. :D
Yeah, that's it. He went on TV advertising that he was giving away stolen shit. :rolleyes:

Enkidu Kind

08-14-2002, 06:01 PM

He probably stole the necklaces from another mobster and got wacked for it. :D

Kosmicdog

08-14-2002, 06:51 PM

Originally posted by emerald kitten

Yeah, that's it. He went on TV advertising that he was giving away stolen shit. :rolleyes:

okay, first you tell some whack ass joke about candy and bridge that no one gets, now a joke that EVERYONE gets flys right over your little pin sized head.

you are on a real roll tonight.

Enkidu Kind

08-14-2002, 07:01 PM

Damn, she must have gotten hugged too much or not enough as a child. Or maybe her mom dropped her right on her brain stem causing irreparable bitchyness.

Theories? Emerald Kitten bitch theories? You've rolled them out in the past, but you know you can come up with more!

evilarchangel68

08-14-2002, 08:38 PM

*yawn*

gee, more EK bashing!

tres originale! :rolleyes:

balloon kitten

08-15-2002, 12:13 AM

Originally posted by Kosmicdog
okay, first you tell some whack ass joke about candy and bridge that no one gets, now a joke that EVERYONE gets flys right over your little pin sized head.

you are on a real roll tonight.

Go back and read it, KD Lang. Other people got it. I think you get it if you're not busy corrupting 14 year old ravers in a cheap hotel with your friends electronic porn music and borrowed film shit. :eek:

Oh, and I'm not on a roll tonight. It's a biscuit! ;)

balloon kitten

08-15-2002, 12:19 AM

Originally posted by Enkidu Kind
Damn, she must have gotten hugged too much or not enough as a child. Or maybe her mom dropped her right on her brain stem causing irreparable bitchyness.

Theories? Emerald Kitten bitch theories? You've rolled them out in the past, but you know you can come up with more!

Here's a question for you. How the fuck could I live if I was dropped on my brain stem? For that to happen, it would have to be protruding from my neck.. exposing both my brain and my spine. It would then dry out, or the leaking blood would cause me to die. Nice try, but everything your daddy told you happened to you as a kid didn't happen to the rest of us.

I'm not a bitch. Just because you don't agree with me, and I don't back down, that makes me a bitch? Ok, I guess I am. Mothafucking queen bitch if that's you decide "bitchyness". So get pissed at me if you want, you're wasting more of you pathetic life. I suggest buying a balloon animal and riding the omnibus! :D

Enkidu Kind

08-15-2002, 01:49 PM

I'm sorry, I wasn't listening. Did you say something?

EuroTrash

08-15-2002, 02:11 PM

Originally posted by emerald kitten

Here's a question for you. How the fuck could I live if I was dropped on my brain stem?

There's always the exception that proves the rule.

balloon kitten

08-15-2002, 02:35 PM

Originally posted by EuroTrash
There's always the exception that proves the rule.
If it's an exception, it breaks the rule. :rolleyes:

balloon kitten

08-15-2002, 02:38 PM

Originally posted by Enkidu Kind
I'm sorry, I wasn't listening. Did you say something?
No worries. If you started to listen to females you might get laid.. but you're not reading this, right? :D