down and out

[LunaLizz]

so , i have been in a wierd ass mood. i used to be really depressed back in the day, but about a year ago that seemed to pass. for the last year i have been fine and dandy. i can handle stress, life, all that malarky.
then i started having this little side thing with a friend from work. i have had a crazy mad crush on the boy and when he approached me about having "benefits" i was like, w00tw00t......
i mistakenly thought this meant he was wanting some sort of a relationship of monogomous committment....\WRONG
so anywho, i have dealt with this shit b4, no biggie, but this, on top of other stresses, i seem to have fallen apart, i think im being a baby.
but i cant pick myself up of the fucking floor.\sigh
my gramma died this year, i am in a new place, i miss my frends, the scene here is sucking, and this dude, who is spose to be my best frend, is kinda being a flaky asshole, or so it feels like to me. its prolly just me
but i have been depressed nontheless.
very depressed,
contemplating things i havent thouight about in a long time
things i never thought i would ever think about doing again
im a baby i know, i should get over it, i know, but it isnt that easy, bah! im sick of crying....





and started doing bad drugs too. >(
i feel like im going crazy, im about to quite my job at at&t, leave my apt i worked so hard for, pack a bag and go to reno to sell drugs, do drugs, live in a house full of peeple who are wonderful beautiful loving druggies.......i dunno.........im going fuckin nuts. i dont know why, i slept for 2 days str8, took some xanax, slept some more, im babbling.......anywho, i need a hug.
:(

[TeknoAXE]

This crazy hell called summer is almost over. After that it's smooth sailing. *hugs*

AXE

[LunaLizz]

thank bob!
*hug back*

[TeknoAXE]

Who's bob?

AXE

[lady.don't.tek.no]

buck up lil camper!:)

[KatSauce]

Damn u should come and kick it with me, I have the coolest homies in the world! We'd totally cheer u up! Just remember that it can only get better, if u didn't have the lows then u wouldn't appreciate the highs! Peace kat

[Psyphyte]

...it gets better.

But only if you take steps to make it so.

It's tough going through all that you have. And on top of your personal issues, having family pass away hurts.

Have you thought of a third party? such as a counsellor or therapy?
it works wonders, and if it doesn't, at least you tried and if anything will offer you insight into how you want to live your life.

I'm not judging, but perhaps those wonderful drugs you might love so much, are taking your toll on your emotions and psyche. Your mind can't deal with your issues, and perhaps drugs make them dull and go away. But as they say, it's only temporary. Might as well face your issues head on, so you can grow into a strong independant woman!

And every strong woman needs an equally, if not more, stronger man. So don't put up with any guy that doesn't know what he wants, doesn't make it clear, or leads you on. You are better than that. You are worth more than that.

Don't give him so much power that he leads you into things that are making you crazy. Does he deserve that attention?

no.

YOU DESERVE THAT ATTENTION. Take care of yourself...everything in moderation. If you don't like the scene, stick to smaller more intimate gatherings or just hanging with friends whom you love the most. Those that have too many aquaintances are obviously not looking for deep, meaningful relationships. okay, well, that's my humble opinion.

do what you know is right in your heart. don't avoid problems by getting deeper into other problems...


to life,

[biscuits]

*JUMPS ON LIZZ AND HUMP.... I MEAN HUGZ HER TO DEATH*

sweety, things will be ok, and you know you can call me *or get online* anytime you want to talk about anything.

*hugz again*

[LunaLizz]

you guys all rawk! :)
i wish i was there to kik it wit u guys......i been thinkin bout comin back........i dunno if this is the place for me, and thank u so mch for the good advice and huggs n humps...(love u dev)
once again, u guys are better than crack! <333333*much love*

[groovinkim]

come back up!
heidi misses you lots.
you could transfer to at&t up here couldn't you?

[Rude Boy]

Here's a good quote to repeat to yourself whenever you feel stressed:
"The sun is warm, the grass is green." - Mr. Miyagi
You have to excuse me, I try to apply all 80's movies to my life, although this little saying has actually helped me in a few situations where my tongue would have had the best of me. Remember Miyagi's teachings and prosper.

[LunaLizz]

groovinkim-yes, i could transfer to att up there in bothell, how long it would take, i dont know....but its a definate possibility......and if i mov back i can finish my AA since i am still a resident (im crafty) in WA, and i have already been approved for many grants, and yes, i soooo miss my heide my wingman, my better half...just talked to her tonight, shes the h-b0mb!!

rudeboy-wax on wax off, and thats life in a nutshell.
"aloha mr hand"
i heart spicolli, the best 80's movie was fast times by far....yupyup

even tho i have a hard time with the rain, lemme tell u, i havent seen any rain in fucking 6 months....i had this dream i was back there and it was raining and i was like, "wow, i kinda liked the rain and didnt know it"
sacramento has indeed been a learning experience, a much needed one, but i feel, more times than not, that here is not my place.......
<3peece

[KrisTina54]

awww hun...don't worry things will get better *hugz*, keep your head up and think positive!!!!!!!

[LunaLizz]

http://www.funnyfreepics.com/images/chill_pill.jpg


i have injested and will continue to consume my chill pill, thank guys, shibby! :)

[.-=PSYLON=-.]

Hey, we of the same birthday have to stick together.

*hugz*

get better.

Ps. get the hellout of sacto yo, and come get some luvin ;)

[balloon kitten]

If only you had a place to vent yourself.. say a drama thread?

*glances in sothis' direction*

:D

You should write some more shit, girl.. then get famous like Alanis did back in the day, and not ever come back cause you're rich. :)

[midnightmonica]

hey i hope your feeling better. I can kind of relate. I'm on effexor which seems to numb my deppression, but sadly, it blunts other emotions such as happiness so i can't feel happy as well as i used to. but at least i'm not deppressed and thats the main thing. If you need to talk just let me know. :)

[LunaLizz]

Originally posted by balloon kitten
If only you had a place to vent yourself.. say a drama thread?

*glances in sothis' direction*

:D

You should write some more shit, girl.. then get famous like Alanis did back in the day, and not ever come back cause you're rich. :)


u rawk the casbah, if i ever 'make it' im calling myself
as a singer/guiitarist......miss balloon
as a DJ....DJ balloon in my ass full of crack

uh.

yea

u guys are seriously, some sweet ass rock stars.....im spose to come up (yea for like 4 months) but really this month cause my grampa baught me a car and i have to get it...(yea for little red cars!) and id like to meet some of ya, anywho, i really REALLY appreciate the support and love, even as small as a post with a smile, u have no idea the difference it makes......<3
meowy meow meow to the kitten of the year!
;)

[Speck]

I've been through hell and back and no matter how many times I say it's not going to get better, it finds a way to do so. Ride it out and see where it takes you. If you ever feel like you're being overwhelmed, find someone to talk to, someone who is going to be there when you need them. You'd be surprised at where you'll find those people.

That's enough of me spouting off. Good luck with everything and keep looking forward to tomorrow and every day after.

(damn, that sounds like a lot of really bad cliche's)

[LunaLizz]

ah yes but.....
bad cliches make the world go round....
;)
yes things are lookin up i just need to focus, and not feel sorry 4 meself, not a good way to deal with any situation.
im a rock star, u r 2