Cat help PLEASE!

[J3sika]

So, this is the story of my cat troubles.

I already have one cat, she is extremely loving and a very sweet girl, her name is Myla. She is a fixed 2 year old female. She comes from a multiple cat household, and once I actually get a job, she'll be spending a lot more time alone during the day so my roommate and I decided to get another cat for her to play with.

I find a cat in Buy Sell Trade, (free kitten post), ask a few questions, am assured that she isn't timid or shy, and is a very playful/nice kitty. So we arrange for a meeting, I see her briefly out of her carrier and she looks a bit wild eyed, but I figure she's just scared of the car and whatnot.

The bad news comes when we get home and let her OUT of the carrier. We keep the two cats separated, and I leave the newkitty to explore the house, walk around and smell things. The thing is, whenever my roommate and I even walk near her (about a two foot radius) she starts to freak out, hisses, and arches her back like she is ready to pounce. I've tried putting her in a smaller room where we aren't walking around, leaving her with food and water, soothing music, she still is extremely irritated. Now, I realize that she is very scared and this is a new environment. My concern comes from the fact that as many scared cats as I've seen, she acts in the very extreme. I have tried just simply sitting 4 feet away from her, doing nothing, where she has lots of room to get away from me if she wants. She will alternate between beign fine and freaking out, hissing and growling. I do not try to touch her or move towards her, I just sit there. Also, when I came out of my room this morning, she was sitting in the hallway, and I tried to walk past her, she starts freaking out once again. I try to shoo her so I can walk there, and she just continues to hiss and growl. Unlike most cats who would just run away and go hide if they were scared, she will remain where she is and exhibit this behavior.

So.. All of you cat experts out there... I realize that she may be just scared, but as I said, her behavior is in the extreme. I do not have the patience to work with a cat for months to get used to me, AND THEN try and get her used to my other sweet loving cat.

This is why I specifically asked questions about her behaviors... Now if I give her a few days and she doesn't calm down at all, do you feel the previous owners have an obligation to take her back since obviously I was not told the truth about her behavior? Or should i just try and take her to a no-kill shelter (Like MEOW or PAWS) where they have very experienced people who can give her the time she needs?

Please help!

[mchll888]

All I can say is cats like to be left alone.
My mom's cat, a stray, did that for a month. We had to leave her in a room until SHE was ready to come out. Don't even try and get her to like you she will do it when she is ready. All you can do is leave her be.

[J3sika]

Originally posted by mchll888
All I can say is cats like to be left alone.
My mom's cat, a stray, did that for a month. We had to leave her in a room until SHE was ready to come out. Don't even try and get her to like you she will do it when she is ready. All you can do is leave her be.

Thats totally understandable, and I realize that. And while it may make me seem like meanest person on earth, I'm really not willing to do that. Thats why I asked very specific questions to the cat owners before telling them I would take her. I'm not going to have my other cat, who is actually nice and loving, constricted to one bedroom in the house for what may be months.

Also, shelters are full of cats who love having other cats to play with, and are pretty adaptable to a new lifestyle.

(Yes, I realize I will get flamed for being such an evil cat hater.)

[Carley]

Give her time & quietness :)

Kitties are fond of whoever is providing for them, so let her see you put treats down for her (and *lots* of them) when she is not freaking out, and clean her kitty box when she's around.

But don't reward *aggressive* (opposed to frightened) behavior... just ignore it.

Your other cat will probably teach her what's up (if she hasn't already).

Otherwise it's more of her getting used to the new stuff. She'll get better.

We had a kitty like that once, lucy. She got over it. She was always particular, but all kitties are ;) They like to train their humans.

~c

<edit> if she's had the chance to roam her new house for a while ~ make sure all windows and doors are closed to the outside and let your other kitty free to the house. They'll prolly fight a bit when they find each other (get a squirt bottle in case things get REALLY out of hand i.e. *real* biting and blood), but growling, kicking, and batting is normal. She'll get the hint. If things don't get better in a couple *days* then it's time to try something else, but usually kitties communicate just fine.

She might be freaking out because she smells your other kitty, or maybe your kitty is talkin smack from behind closed doors. Let your big kitty deal with the hoodlum ;)

<edit again>

do you feel the previous owners have an obligation to take her back since obviously I was not told the truth about her behavior?

No. You were probably told the truth about her behavior. She's scared, intimidated, and if you are being pushy you are freaking her out more. Chill out and give her some time.

Or should i just try and take her to a no-kill shelter (Like MEOW or PAWS) where they have very experienced people who can give her the time she needs?


If you can't handle the cats' needs (which are love, quiet, time, cleanliness, food, and treats) then by all means take her to a shelter so someone else can. I suggest you hold off on getting any other kitty however, as most ~ when stripped of their comfort zone ~ will react just as wildley as this one. She is a baby animal. She is not rationalizing your existance, she is frightened. A minority of kitties adjust "perfectly" as you'd like, and they are usually kitties who have been socialized in frequented environments.

[MustHaveLust]

My roommate has a cat with the same tendecies, and she simply puts the cat in the windowsill. Works every time.

[Star_Dancer]

Get her catnip and a laser pointer.

It helped keep my kitten from killing me and eating me in my sleep.

My kitten kinda did the same thing, but she took to me really quickly. If I have to take her to someone elses place (apartment inspections) she just freaks even with me.

She'll be fine. Or she's an elitest bitch

[r*marie.pdx]

word to the laser pointer/catnip idea that charles was talking about.
not only does it keep the cat entertained/happy, but it provides countless hours of entertainment for YOU. they get all goofed up on the catnip, which is funny enough, and they never seem to tire of the laser.
my cat oskar has learned to associate the sound of the laser clicking on w/ the dot on the ground, so now whenever i pull it out of the drawer, he starts looking frantically all over the floor for the dot. it's pretty schweet :D
good luck w/ the kitten, i hope it works out!

[Star_Dancer]

Originally posted by r*marie.pdx
word to the laser pointer/catnip idea that charles was talking about.
not only does it keep the cat entertained/happy, but it provides countless hours of entertainment for YOU. they get all goofed up on the catnip, which is funny enough, and they never seem to tire of the laser.
my cat oskar has learned to associate the sound of the laser clicking on w/ the dot on the ground, so now whenever i pull it out of the drawer, he starts looking frantically all over the floor for the dot. it's pretty schweet :D
good luck w/ the kitten, i hope it works out!

Yeah.. totally. My kitten has decided WHEN she gets to play with the laser pointer. She will go pick it up in her mouth and come drop it on me. If I don't start playing with her she'll go pick up her fuzzy mice and drop them on me and then start trying to play with them on top of my head.

Damn kitten
*puurrrr*

[balloon kitten]

Originally posted by J3sika
Thats totally understandable, and I realize that. And while it may make me seem like meanest person on earth, I'm really not willing to do that.
Then you shouldn't have taken another cat. :mad:

What are you going to do if you pop out a kid that's retarded? Take him back because there are plenty of sweet kids up for adoption? :rolleyes:

A cat is an animal, you have to remember that. I've had a few cats in my 9 lives ;), and they have to get used to their surroundings. The little kitty is scared because every day with you is still a major portion of his/her life. Let the kitty get used to it. AND AND AND!!! Take him/her to the vet to make sure there's no kitty diseases or health problems. This is soooo important.. and five, even ten years from you you'll be happy that you have a healthy kitty that licks your face at night. ;)

[mchll888]

Can I just say............
I love CATS........

[.-=PSYLON=-.]

I luvs kitties, but dogs are still better.

[AthenA]

Cats don't always get better. My cat is a little bastard. I've own cats before, and I've done all the "right" thigs with this one, but it remains a little bastard. It is the offspring of a stray that a friend took in. That stray eventually took to it's surroundings, but all her kittens are a little weird. I'm not sure if the stray's background and the behaviour of my cat are related in some way, but that's what I tend to attribute it to. My cat acts a lot like yours (but not *quite* as severe). We've had him for a year now and he's still bad. My suggestion: Stick with it. You did take the cat, so now he's your responsibility. Don't just leave him/her alone, or it will stay alone. You must try to integrate it into your lifestyle and your other cat. They'll work things out, and chances are, you will too. But don't get to easily dismayed when the cat doesn't turn as quickly as you'd like him to. Good luck!

[sothis]

What are you going to do if you pop out a kid that's retarded? Take him back because there are plenty of sweet kids up for adoption?

this situation is not the same as having a kid.

when you get pregnant, its kind of like a grab bag. you dont know whats going to come out. that is the assumption that any sane parent must have, considering, unless gene therapy is rampant sometime soon, the parent doesnt have a choice of the child they bring into the world.

however.

if i adopt a pet, i dont go to the pet store, put a blindfold on, and randomly pick at a carrier. i would want to know the pet's temperment, and other things such as its attitude towards children (if i had them), or other aspects of their personality.

now, if this cat that jessica got is really just scared, and will calm down, thats just fine. but, her point is, that if this cat is the OPPOSITE of what the people giving her away said (as in, they lied just to dump the cat to someone else), then she wants to know about the previous owner's obligations, etc.

if i want to buy a car in perfect shape, and i find an ad which says "in perfect shape", and then i find that the car breaks down every 50 feet, and has other mechanical problems... are you also saying that i should just cut my losses, say "oh, thats ok.. i will fix the car and make it road-worthy because if i wasn't in for that commitment, i shouldnt have bought a car in the first place" ?

yes, the analogy in this case might not be exactly the same (an inanimate object versus an animal), but the point still stands.

if she took this cat into her home because she was told it was loving and caring, and ends up (potentiallly) acting feral all the time, why is she being labeled a bad person for not wanting to deal with it? there are many, many pets out there who need a loving home. jessica wanted to help save a cat with the characteristics that she wanted in an animal. it is possible it might not be what was advertised. not her fault. you act like she should feel bad that she doesnt want to spend the time on this... but again, luckily with pets, we have the choice to choose an animal that fits with us, and our lifestyle. its not fair to insinuate she, or me, or any other person is selfish or uncaring because they dont purposefully go out and pick the most feral, untamed cats out there to deal with.

carley:
i can guarantee you that jessica would not be pushy to this cat, in any way. i lived with her over the summer, and i was there when she brought home myla (i miss the kitty :( ) ... for several days, she wasnt bothered.. she roamed the house freely, hid in the closet a lot.. at no point did jessica try to force her to be social or loving.

[Skwerl]

maybe your cat is RABID
or maybe your cat is a TWEAKER

Rabid Pussy tweaking in the hall way and wont let you pass?
well you could feed her addiction
or twirl her by the tail and fling her at your friends and enemies!
screw a laser pointer kitty throwing is much more fun!

[Skwerl]

you could glue a laser pointer to her head! then you would have a red dot laser aiming system on your projectile kitty!!

[Carley]

i can guarantee you that jessica would not be pushy to this cat, in any way. i lived with her over the summer, and i was there when she brought home myla (i miss the kitty ) ... for several days, she wasnt bothered.. she roamed the house freely, hid in the closet a lot.. at no point did jessica try to force her to be social or loving.

Yeah, I've been chatting with her. Kitties can be really finicky :)

And word on the pet/child thing. It's **totally** not the same.

But ~ the kitty just lost her 'parents' and was placed in a home with strange kitty smells. I won't be suprised if she 'comes around.' She's already asking for attention... :) She'll be easy for Jessica to condition once she gets used to a typical 'cat' cat. Myla sounds like a dream!

<edit> Is the kitty ferral? That can make it 'interesting' ;) Our Steve is half ferral half domesticated, but I love him to death. Wouldn't trade his bad-ass for anything!

[balloon kitten]

Originally posted by sothis
this situation is not the same as having a kid.

when you get pregnant, its kind of like a grab bag. you dont know whats going to come out.
When I get pregnant, I will know.. I'll have a human. It's easy, sothis. Just stop having sex with wildebeasts. :D

[Transmission]

My girlfriend move in and her cat did the same thing. It's taken me two years to get to even pet it. But as for the cat ...Now she seems fine but still a lil f*in crazy. = )
Best of luck.

[Fire_Princess]

Originally posted by J3sika


I'm not going to have my other cat, who is actually nice and loving, constricted to one bedroom in the house for what may be months.



Sweety, take it from some one whos had too many damned cats. The best thing you could do for that kitten is to let your other cat out of the room so first of all they can get to know each other. Second, once the kitten sees the other cat in the house hold it is less likely to be scared, especially if your other cat likes to be pet, sit on laps, ect. As for when the cat gets scared and freaks out (now Im not sure what you meant by that but I figure its just hissing and the not moving thing) Ignore it. Once the kitten realizes that 1 you are not going to hurt it and 2 the puny little sounds coming out of its mouth dont scare you things are bound to change.

How old is your kitten??

-J

[J3sika]

Hey guys, thank you ALL for your help so far, especially Carley and Kim who have both been messaging me back and forth.

Today the cat has actually come out of hiding a few times, she is definitely skittish still, but at least some improvement. She will come up to me and meow, if I start petting her she likes it for a bit and then will hiss and freak out. Same goes for playing games and any other contact.

I think her lovey kitty side and her scared kitty side are fighting each other.. She wants to play and be loved but once she realizes she is stepping out of her comfort zone.

On another note: I realize some of you may think of me as a mean cat owner because of my initial and second post. While it may not come across, I am an extremely loving 'cat person'. I am also extremely dedicated to my first cat, and she is my primary concern.

As far as letting the two cats mingle, I'm still a little wary of trying this. My cat (Myla) that I already have has a bad shoulderblade, it was hurt shortly after birth. The vet recommended putting her to sleep, but the owner kept her. She lives a happy and healthy life (short of being able to jump on counters and steal goodies), but I am not sure how this would affect her if it did come to a cat fight.

ALSO: It may not seem like I have any patience, but as Kim said, when Myla first came to live with us, she was not social either. I didn't bother her, I made sure she had hiding spots, plenty of food and water, and was more than happy to receive the attention she gave me, when she decided to give it to me. In return, I now have an extremely dedicated and sweet cat. She sleeps at my side every night, follows me from room to room, and loves to play and snuggle.

I will keep you all updated, thanks for your advice again.

[~Bliss~]

Hey, seriously I'm going to tell you some bad news I know. My boy has this kitty Peaches (they thought he was a she at first) and it sounds a lot like your kitten. When they first got Peaches he was really shy and when he was confronted he would hiss and howl and even scratch his way out of it. Then he started to play a little, like your kitty is, then he'd realize he was having fun and bite (viciously enough to draw blood) scratch, hiss, howl, etc.
Then they got L.C. (Little Cat). LC is really cute, he's the exact opposite of Peaches. They got him so Peaches would settle down and learn what kitty behavior is. Peaches beats the crap out of LC on the regular. The day we went to pick LC up from his neutering operation Peaches chased him down, pinned him on his back, sniffed his "area" and STEPPED ON HIS WOUND!!!

To this day Peaches is the only cat I know who can look at you and say "Fuck you" with his eyes. But he kicks ass.

K

[Kosmicdog]

I recently got two kities.

I got ruffneck at the shelter, he jumped in my lap and hasn't left it sense.

I got Lola from a person who had the whole litter of cats. I didn't see Lola for over two weeks, unless I explored the farthest reaches of my closet, or the innards of my couch. I thought she was scared and unhappy, and almost took her back. Now three months later Lola is a little sweetheart who is friendly to everyone, even my guests that she hasn't even met before.

So give it a little bit, and don't get frustrated.

[*naughty kitty*]

Hey I had a kitty that did exactly the same thing. When we got her the first thing she did was fluff up and run behind the tv. She didn't come out for like 5 days. Then one morning i woke up to a kitty purring on my neck, I thought it was my older cat, but to my surprise... it was the psycho kitten. It took her a while but she eventually came out of her shell, and even got used to my roommates pitbull. So there is hope, just give it time. :)

[J3sika]

Once again. Thanks for the advice.

Things are going MUCH better now. MeanKitty has actually decided she wants to be friendly and allows us to pet her as long as we don't make sudden movements, and has even sat on my lap twice. She LOVES to play and has a lot of fun with a hemp string toy I made. (String is bad for kitties, so being a hemploving girl I took a whole bunch of various colors and made a nice little rope for them to gnaw on and pull at and chase around the room.)

I finally let my other cat out of the room today, and got a big surprise. Myla/Nice Kitty was a huge evil mean bitch and MeanKitty just wanted to play and run around. So now NiceKitty will lay at the end of the bed in my room, and if MeanKitty tries to come in she yowls at her, its pretty funny. I think they'll end up doing fine, they won't come near each other yet but eventually they'll have to get used to each other.

(BTW, if any of you realize how dangerous string is for your cat, and want a nice alternative, I would recommend making a hemp rope. Same stuff you make necklaces out of, and they are very easy. Safe to chew, its sturdy so it won't come apart, and its so thick you can leave it out w/o fear of them choking on it. You can also sprinkle a little catnip on the end from time to time.)

[Kosmicdog]

Originally posted by J3sika


(BTW, if any of you realize how dangerous string is for your cat, and want a nice alternative, I would recommend making a hemp rope. Same stuff you make necklaces out of, and they are very easy. Safe to chew, its sturdy so it won't come apart, and its so thick you can leave it out w/o fear of them choking on it. You can also sprinkle a little catnip on the end from time to time.)

I juist have to add...

I don't care what al those dumb hippies say. Hemp is some weak ass shit. I have made the mistake of buying a pair of hemp shoes, a hemp shirt, and a hemp dogleash.

The hemp shoes lasted like a month bfore they got holes in them. The shirt lasted a little longer, but all the cuffs got worn really fast. The leash fell apart after getting wet a couple times.

Fuck hemp.

[J3sika]

Originally posted by Kosmicdog


I juist have to add...

I don't care what al those dumb hippies say. Hemp is some weak ass shit. I have made the mistake of buying a pair of hemp shoes, a hemp shirt, and a hemp dogleash.

The hemp shoes lasted like a month bfore they got holes in them. The shirt lasted a little longer, but all the cuffs got worn really fast. The leash fell apart after getting wet a couple times.

Fuck hemp.

Have you ever worn hemp necklaces? They last forever, you can shower in them, do whatever. The rope I made was not some cheaply bought piece of shit. Its very sturdy, and you can't make it come apart. The crazy six month old kitten can jump up in the air, latch on and swing from it. (which is funny as all hell, i might add)

Edited to add: I'm currently in the process of making a harness for my moms parrot out of hemp, and I'd gladly make you a rope for your own kitties to prove you wrong ;)