A N A L O G - Xiii

[djJisaan]

i really need to get leid. Got 150 of them!!!

[NobodyFamous]

Originally posted by NobodyFamous
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TOP TEN REASONS WHY YOU CAN NOT GET LAID, WROTE BY A FEMALE PERSPECTIVE


10. YOU ARE LAZY. You would rather sit on your ass in front of the computer or television than actually go out and try to meet someone. You expect women to magically appear at your door the moment you get a hard-on. You want sex, but you dont want to work for it. You dont even want to have to change clothes after you fuck. Get off your ass if you want things to change or shut the hell up.

9. YOUR STANDARDS AND EXPECTATIONS ARE RIDICULOUS. You want to fuck a porn starlet or sex goddess, not a real woman. You expect us to have a perfect body and always be ready to fuck. Your ideal woman is some ridiculous image that the media and porn industry has brainwashed you to believe is desirable. You think of women in terms of parts, not the whole. You forget that there is a human being there. How can we possibly want to make love to you when you dont even think of us as person? The sad truth is, you are so horny you would probably fuck anything in a skirt. But because you dont have the brainpower to think for yourself, you dont recognize a real woman when she is RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU. Helloooooooooo? Anybody in there?

8. YOU DON’T KNOW HOW TO MAKE THE FIRST MOVE GRACEFULLY. We expect you to make the first move: to ask us out, to kiss us, to make a pass, and to initiate sex. Right or wrong, you have got to deal with it. If you are not getting any, you havent finessed the art of the gentle come-on. We cant read your minds so dont expect us to appear at your door ready for sex. And lose those lame come-on lines. They never work. Do you really think that any self-respecting woman reading an ad that basically says,Let me fuck you and toss you aside...would pick you? Get real.

7. YOU DO NOT KNOW HOW TO PACKAGE YOURSELF. Face it, first impressions are made within the first 30 second of visual contact. If you dont make yourself appealing to the opposite sex, why the hell should we fuck you? You dont dress well and your hygiene leaves much to be desired. We spend HOURS making ourselves look beautiful. You show up for a date sweaty from basketball practice, unshaven, wearing a wrinkled T-shirt, torn jeans, and want to jump right into the sack. I dont think so, stud. When is the last time you took a BATH, beefcakes?

6. YOU ARE BORING, BORING, BORING! You have nothing interesting to say besides [Let�s fuck.] You forget that the sexiest organ in the whole human body is the brain. You talk about yourself and dont ask anything about us. Do you think we really want to hear how good your golf game is? Honey, we�re just being polite while we mentally think [Next!] Broaden your horizons, babe. The sexiest men I have ever known stimulated my mind as well as my body. Read something besides Sports Illustrated, for Chris sakes.

5. YOU HAVE NO PATIENCE. You expect a woman to leap into the sack with you immediately, on the first date. You are a child of the internet age, expect instant gratification, and have the attention span of a millisecond. You do not understand that planning, perseverance and persistence are what lead to success. It takes time to build up passion, and you have no patience. Good things come to those who wait. If you want instant gratification, call a hooker or pop a porn video in the VCR and make friends with your right hand. But don't blame us if you can only come and go in less than a minute.

4. YOU ARE NOT NICE. You dont treat women with respect. You are a closet misogynist or psychopath bent on hurting us. You expect every woman to spread her legs wide open for you. You dont want to know us, not really. You just want to fuck us and discard us. You wont call us after wards, even though you say you will. You forget we have feelings. You are mean, selfish, crazy, vain, or just fucking NUTS. Get lost, loser.

3. YOU DO NOT LISTEN TO US AT ALL. You are psychologically incapable of understanding the word No. You dont hear us when we tell you our hopes and dreams. You stare at our cleavage when we tell you about our lives. You dont pay attention to us when we are trying to tell you something important, something that might actually get you extra points in the relationship game. You dont listen when we say we love you and need you. And you wonder why we ignore you when you try to hit on us? Get a clue.

2. YOU HAVE NO CLUE HOW TO PLEASE A WOMAN IN BED. You SAY you love to give oral sex, and that a womans pleasure matters most to you, but your actions show you only want to stick and move. Ladies, how many times have you heard men say that they love oral sex only to have a guy make a drive by lick before he penetrates? Guys... we know the truth about you. We tell our girlfriends everything. Word about you is already on the street and spreading fast. Feel paranoid? You should. Our network is bigger than the internet.


And the number one reason why you can't get laid:


1. YOU JUST DONT GET IT. You havent a clue. You dont understand women and dont even want to try. You would rather be bitter, misogynistic, lazy, sloppy, smelly, frustrated, selfish, mean, vain, crazy or just plain stupid than make an honest-to-God, real-live attempt to connect with the opposite sex. Enjoy your porn movies because thats the only naked woman you are ever going to see.

[idoru]

Here are some clips from Jerry's Ableton set at Broken Disco in November of '07. Just a little preview of what's in store. You can hear the crowd lose it and scream like banshees in each of them.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ams-hFEBEnE
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u9RqM5fimFg
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hxSOoI3tIM0
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=riYEpZ6zppk

[Cethe]

you guys aren't pussin out cuz of weather are ya?

[djJisaan]

We dont postpone things....its not our style!

[NobodyFamous]

The snow right now isn't that extreme... plus it looks like god blew his load and forgot to clean it up.

[CreepyTom]

bump!

[travis b]

Seriously this is going to be one helluva night of sizzling hot techno!
OMG!!
OGC!
SO much better than the UGGs i got for xmas
http://www.uggaustralia.com/

tonight!!!!
E lei kau, e lei ho`oilo i ke aloha!

"Love is worn like a wreath through the summers and the winters."

~ Hawaiian Proverb

[NobodyFamous]

Originally posted by NobodyFamous

Very Special Birthday & Debut Techno Set:


PRESSHA


ECE | Produkt



I think I first met my good friend and fellow redneck DJ family member PrEssHa (aka Matthew Thomas McGiveron) at the Produkt Dance studio in south Seattle where a Friday nights festivities had slid right over into the next afternoon, and we were all lazing about, smoking and drinking and listening to music and dancing on the big splintery floor. PrEssHa, play some techno! PrEssHa, play some dub step! PrEssHa, play some glitch! It did not seem to matter what genre it was; what the people wanted was what the people got and for hours Matt delivered it with a slick style and a smile.

Since that afternoon I have gotten to know PrEssHa and have learned that his easy nature and recurring smile are part of his fun personality as much as his extreme versatility is part of his performance. One of my favorite experiences was around midnight at Operation Apex out on Vantage River, I was asleep and cuddling in my tent with a couple friends after a crazy day, and my girl Lynzie nudges me. Do you here those bass beats?,,,,she said, It is PrEssHa!

Sure enough, booming down the sandy river beach and right into my ears was the unmistakable sound of PrEssHa throwing down some heavy bass about two hundred yards away, coming from beyond the tree-sheltered d&b stage from the insanely windy and cold beach stage. I got my ass up out of the warm tent, put on a few more layers, grabbed the long PVC pipe I like to twirl and RAN to the beach where PrEssHa was playing. There with the maniacal wind and crashing river waves, amongst the campfires and beach rocks and tripping party kids, I danced, under the fat moon and the star-lit waves. It is one of the many dance floor experiences imprinted in my brain forever. By the end of his set a whole crowd of people had gathered to dance to the bass, inclement weather be damned. It was the best set of the weekend which had no shortage of good music and talented DJs.

I told PrEssHa the next day that you know you are a good DJ when people get up OUT of nice warm tents and brave the 50mph wind and RUN to hear your set- but there are many more reasons why PrEssHa rocks. Here they are:

PrEssHa is one of the most versatile DJs in Seattle and throws down sick beats from techno to hip-hop to dub step to breaks to electro house to drum and bass to glitch hop. Immersed in the party and responsive to the desires of his audience, PrEssHa loves to create a scorching dance floor riot and you will find him in clubs all over the city having as much fun as the dancers getting down to the blazing beats. Bio By: Shilo Urban

PrEssHa's newest mix cd "The Resolution" is out now. He was also voted to "The Best 2007" Vortex show on 89.5fm a very popular radio station out of Seattle that reaches worldwide online. With only nearly 3 years at playing electronic music you could never tell as he mixes flawlessly and always has the best, newest, and most crowd pleasing Breaks, Electro House, Glitch Hop, and now Drum n Bass... Needless to say he knows his way around turntables. Don't miss your chance to see this artist work. A surefire dance floor mover, this one will not be going away soon.

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For more on this talented DJ and his music, visit him at MYSPACE






Produkt will now have all ANALOG events Broadcast Live on the Global Vortex, plus during the show pictures will be upload via online.